Date Me!

if you like me*, and you're interested but never thought to ask, just ask!

The always live version of this is on https://swyx.notion.site/dateme just because the design is nicer/more familiar to folks. People also REALLY liked the comments I made.

*or know someone who might

Hi! I’m swyx and I dislike dating apps but want to take relationships seriously… so here’s my attempt at opting out of the system! Here’s the basic “what everyone asks” from dating apps:

• 38yo Singaporean Chinese, 5’ 7’’ (171cm)
• Live in San Francisco/often in Singapore (but open to travel/moving to other major cities)
• never married/no kids (want 26-40yo woman to marry and have kids)
• techie (but not 100% techbro tho I have been a software engineer and do have a podcast)
• singer (I’ve been in musicals, acapella, tiktok, teeny bit of guitar. When I’m home there should always be something playing on the speakers, no exceptions!)
• writer (people like my blog and book and short stories and newsletter and communities)
• friendly, ambitious nerd (I sometimes run giant meetups and conferences)
• Obsessions: Dropout.tv, Coupling, bouldering, Discworld, Powerful movies, good podcasts. Have had both dogs and cats but don’t currently have any, would love to
• Not very religious but raised in Buddhist tradition and generally think karma is real
• Social drinker, never smoked, regular exercise (have I mentioned I like bouldering)

Obligatory photo wall

About

The basic non-professional about page/linkedin gist is that I’ve grown up constantly straddling two worlds:

• spending half my life in Singapore and the other half in the US;
• spending half my career in finance (Wharton→UChicago→options trader→hedge fund) and then pivoting to tech for the second half (Two Sigma, AWS, 3 unicorn startups)
• being both very online and yet loving building IRL community.

The plus is I adapt/fit in easily, the downside is I have switched countries, cities, and social circles so much that my personal/social life isn’t where I want it to be — 3 serious relationships but always cut short basically by long distance due to work stuff. I think those days are done and I’ve “found my thing”, and am in a place where I want to seriously work towards being a life partner to someone who’s also ready for that!

I get shy writing about myself but I’m forcing myself to in this new year so here are some other dating profile notes:

• Values: Commitment, Connection, Honesty, Vulnerability, Communication
• Personality: Authentic, Empathetic, Passionate, Smart, Sociable
• Interests: Climbing, Running, Tennis, EDM (Tiesto), Soul (super random but I won a contest for #1 Joss Stone fan in 2006 haha), Podcasts, Karaoke, traveling for friends instead of museums, Great TV/movie writing

What I’m looking for

• Do I have a type?
  • Physically: Genuinely attracted to all races, and a wide range of body types, but yes historically have mostly dated Asian girls
  • Personality: Trustworthy/Funny/Low drama/Easy going/Spontaneous/Responsible. Smart-but-it’s-not-your-entire-identity. Tenacity/Grittiness/Creativity is hot as hell!
• Giant pluses:
  • Musician - Singer, Pianist, Arranger/Composer, anything. We will make all the music
  • Career in Healthcare/Law/traditional businesses - I gotchu on finance/tech (but finance/tech is cool too of course) but it’d be nice to balance that out
    • zero issues at all with you making more than me if thats still a thing people get hung up on
  • Writer - probably the easiest tell of a beautiful mind
  • Cooking - I would LOVE to be your sous chef
  • Dancer - Mama said I was a dancer before I was born; I used to once, I don’t anymore; would love to get back into it without doing the creepy do-dance-classes-to-find-dates thing that so many guys seem to do?
  • Better memory/aesthetic sense than me? :)
• Open to living at least part time in Singapore - I do want spend time with my family

hit me up!

if you’re pickin’ up what i’m puttin’ down, find me on text or twitter or [[email](mailto shawnthe1 at gmail.com)! I like “can’t lose” first dates - a walk/hike, farmer’s market, dog rescue cuddles! Coffee is good but I’m 100% a tea guy.