Date Me!
if you like me*, and you’re interested but never thought to ask, just ask!
The always live version of this is on https://swyx.notion.site/dateme just because the design is nicer/more familiar to folks. People also REALLY liked the comments I made.
*or know someone who might
Hi! I’m swyx and I dislike dating apps but want to take relationships seriously… so here’s my attempt at opting out of the system! Here’s the basic “what everyone asks” from dating apps:
- 38yo Singaporean Chinese, 5’ 7’’ (171cm)
- Live in San Francisco/often in [Singapore](https://www.swyx.io/sg-guide) (but open to travel/moving to other major cities)
- never married/no kids (want 26-40yo woman to marry and have kids)
- techie (but not 100% techbro tho I have [been a software engineer](https://hackernoon.com/no-zero-days-my-path-from-code-newbie-to-full-stack-developer-in-12-months-214122a8948f) and do have a [podcast](https://www.latent.space/podcast))
- singer (I’ve been in [musicals](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MammaMia!(musical)), [acapella](https://www.pennchants.com/), tiktok, teeny bit of guitar. When I’m home there should always be something playing on the speakers, no exceptions!)
- writer (people like my [blog](https://swyx.io/LIP) and [book](https://learninpublic.org/) and [short stories](https://x.com/swyx/status/1774291917091868971) and [newsletter](https://latent.space/) and [communities](https://x.com/swyx))
- friendly, ambitious nerd (I sometimes run [giant meetups](https://www.latent.space/i/115665083/) and [conferences](https://www.ai.engineer/worldsfair))
- Obsessions: [Dropout.tv](http://dropout.tv/), [Coupling](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coupling_(British_TV_series)), [bouldering](https://www.swyx.io/bouldering), Discworld, Powerful movies, [good podcasts](https://swyx.io/fave-podcasts). Have had both dogs and cats but don’t currently have any, would love to
- Not very religious but raised in Buddhist tradition and generally think karma is real
- Social drinker, never smoked, regular exercise (have I mentioned I like [bouldering](https://www.swyx.io/bouldering))
Obligatory photo wall
About
The basic non-professional [about page](https://www.swyx.io/about)/[linkedin](https://www.linkedin.com/in/shawnswyxwang/) gist is that I’ve grown up constantly straddling two worlds:
- spending half my life in Singapore and the other half in the US;
- spending half my career in finance (Wharton→UChicago→options trader→hedge fund) and then [pivoting to tech](https://hackernoon.com/no-zero-days-my-path-from-code-newbie-to-full-stack-developer-in-12-months-214122a8948f) for the second half (Two Sigma, AWS, 3 unicorn startups)
- being both very online and yet loving building IRL community.
The plus is I adapt/fit in easily, the downside is I have switched countries, cities, and social circles so much that my personal/social life isn’t where I want it to be — 3 serious relationships but always cut short basically by long distance due to work stuff. I think those days are done and I’ve “found my thing”, and am in a place where I want to seriously work towards being a life partner to someone who’s also ready for that!
I get shy writing about myself but I’m forcing myself to in this new year so here are some other dating profile notes:
- Values: Commitment, Connection, Honesty, Vulnerability, Communication
- Personality: Authentic, Empathetic, Passionate, Smart, Sociable
- Interests: Climbing, Running, Tennis, EDM (Tiesto), Soul (super random but I won a contest for #1 Joss Stone fan in 2006 haha), Podcasts, Karaoke, traveling for friends instead of museums, Great TV/movie writing
What I’m looking for
- Do I have a type?
- Physically: Genuinely attracted to all races, and a wide range of body types, but yes historically have mostly dated Asian girls
- Personality: Trustworthy/Funny/Low drama/Easy going/Spontaneous/Responsible. Smart-but-it’s-not-your-entire-identity. Tenacity/Grittiness/Creativity is hot as hell!
- Giant pluses:
- Musician - Singer, Pianist, Arranger/Composer, anything. We will make all the music
- Career in Healthcare/Law/traditional businesses - I gotchu on finance/tech (but finance/tech is cool too of course) but it’d be nice to balance that out
- zero issues at all with you making more than me if thats still a thing people get hung up on
- Writer - probably the easiest tell of a beautiful mind
- Cooking - I would LOVE to be your sous chef
- Dancer - Mama said I was a dancer before I was born; I used to once, I don’t anymore; would love to get back into it without doing the creepy do-dance-classes-to-find-dates thing that so many guys seem to do?
- Better memory/aesthetic sense than me? :)
- Open to living at least part time in Singapore - I do want spend time with my family
hit me up!
if you’re pickin’ up what i’m puttin’ down, find me on text or [twitter](https://x.com/swyx) or [[email](mailto shawnthe1 at gmail.com)! I like “can’t lose” first dates - a walk/hike, farmer’s market, [dog rescue cuddles](https://muttville.org/)! Coffee is good but I’m 100% a tea guy.